Saturday, July 27 is National Dance Day. Go dance a jig somewhere!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Job's Suffering and Human Dignity
[A reflection written to a friend who was in an ongoing conversation with an agnostic about the problem of suffering, written about three years ago. Below is a refracted and refocused version.]
There are many good explanations of why God allows suffering. But in my heart of hearts, I do not know nor understand why God allows suffering. Why did a just man like Job suffer? And even more puzzling for christians, for the perfect man, Jesus? Instead, I want to share some thoughts on what suffering may reveal about our dignity as people.
God allowed satan to inflict suffering to Job, but the one thing that satan was absolutely not permitted to do was to take away Job's life. Why did God draw the line there? God can surely raise Job from death. I think the prohibition is more than just about preserving the life of Job. It provides a glimpse of Job's true dignity and worth as a person created by God.
Perhaps our human dignity is fully in tact in the midst of suffering. Perhaps, our human dignity shines through more clearly in suffering. Perhaps it is this revelation of who we are in God in a time of suffering that makes suffering a hard to look at but powerful sign to love. A burning sign of God's love and human love.
And maybe this sign leads us to a slightly different path to the cross. Where we stand with John and Mary and experience their love for a son, a friend, a man.
"Life is not only happiness and games: it is pain, temptation, and failure. And yet in all this it is beautiful if it is supported by love and possesses a hope that transcends the present moment. If we cannot show a picture of life in which even pain, hardship and death are meaningful and belong to a larger whole, then we cannot rehabilitate human existence.”
—Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI)
From his book “A Turning Point for Europe?”
—Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI)
From his book “A Turning Point for Europe?”
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The Origin Story -- Part II
As I started to do research on all things Argentine Tango, I found that there were not just one, but two Argentine Tango clubs on campus. And in typical John fashion, I tried to figure out all the possible permutations to my schedule should I decide to go to one club's class versus another.
During my research phase, I also noticed that in Argentine Tango, people danced very close together. I mean very very close together. I mean really close. In Argentine Tango parlance, the hold is called the "close embrace". As I learned later, most styles of partner dancing, like ballroom or Salsa, you and your partner are in a H-frame. Just like Baby and Johnny below.
But in Argentine Tango, you are in a A-frame with your partner. In the H-frame, you and your partner are on either side of the H, and your arms make the dash in between. By keeping the connection in the torso through the arms, the leader communicates to the follower which way to go. In the A-frame of Argentine Tango, instead of connecting through the arms, you are leaning against each other and connecting chest-to-chest. I was both very excited and utterly frightened.
I emailed one of the clubs to see if it were possible for me to learn the dance without doing close embrace, and I never heard back from the organizer. I was torn. On the one hand, I was fascinated by the dance. On the other hand, I was wondering if I were violating any moral codes. The funny thing in retrospect is that I would always imagined dancing with a hottie.
After going back and forth for the better part of a week. I decided to just go for broke and try out the class. Throughout the day, I kept thinking about the class. After dinner and my Vespers prayers, I put on my most decent set of clothing and hopped into the university bus that will transport me from the quiet North Campus to the exciting unknown of Angell Hall on Central Campus.
P.S.: Here is an excellent online blog that chronicled a man's journey in the world of Tango in Argentina. I read this blog from beginning to end when I was looking into Tango. And I panic like a little boy when I was trying to find the blog again. This is the power and beauty of dance.
During my research phase, I also noticed that in Argentine Tango, people danced very close together. I mean very very close together. I mean really close. In Argentine Tango parlance, the hold is called the "close embrace". As I learned later, most styles of partner dancing, like ballroom or Salsa, you and your partner are in a H-frame. Just like Baby and Johnny below.
But in Argentine Tango, you are in a A-frame with your partner. In the H-frame, you and your partner are on either side of the H, and your arms make the dash in between. By keeping the connection in the torso through the arms, the leader communicates to the follower which way to go. In the A-frame of Argentine Tango, instead of connecting through the arms, you are leaning against each other and connecting chest-to-chest. I was both very excited and utterly frightened.
I emailed one of the clubs to see if it were possible for me to learn the dance without doing close embrace, and I never heard back from the organizer. I was torn. On the one hand, I was fascinated by the dance. On the other hand, I was wondering if I were violating any moral codes. The funny thing in retrospect is that I would always imagined dancing with a hottie.
After going back and forth for the better part of a week. I decided to just go for broke and try out the class. Throughout the day, I kept thinking about the class. After dinner and my Vespers prayers, I put on my most decent set of clothing and hopped into the university bus that will transport me from the quiet North Campus to the exciting unknown of Angell Hall on Central Campus.
P.S.: Here is an excellent online blog that chronicled a man's journey in the world of Tango in Argentina. I read this blog from beginning to end when I was looking into Tango. And I panic like a little boy when I was trying to find the blog again. This is the power and beauty of dance.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
The Origin Story -- Part I
Ever since I was little, I have always been fascinated by dancing. I still remember laying down newspapers on the floor so I can imitate the break dancers I saw on T.V. The whole love of dancing took a detour when I flew across the Pacific Ocean. I was a nervous wreck when I went to my first junior high dance in America, overweight and decked out in a tuxedo. Fast forward to the first semester at Caltech, and I decided to jumped to the dance floor to Nine Inch Nail's Closer. For ten years, I was the master of the Random Gyration. Blazing my own brand of asian-latin groove across the dance floors of Los Angeles. While other guys would stand on the perimeters of the dance floor with their beer in hand, I would be in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by women. I wished I was a bit more open to talking to women then -- it would have led to some good conversations. I still remember the best compliment I ever received on the dance floor -- "You are very soulful".
When I started graduate school at Michigan, I also entered my puritanical/monkish phase. I still did not think there was anything wrong with dancing per se (though I didn't and still don't count making babies in the middle of the dance floor dancing) but I was hesitant about going to dance clubs or bars. So weekends were spent hanging out in large groups and on my own devouring theological books.
Then I discovered youtube one night. I discovered this first video from reading a dance review on New York Times about Gabriel Misse and Natalia Hills. The review can be found here. When I did a quick search, this is what I found.
I was mes-merized. I have never seen four legs move so beautifully together to music. Sure, there are some amazingly flashy moves (check out 1:57), but what fascinated me the most was how they were able to move together to music so beautifully, gracefully, and sensually. For example, check out how they interpreted the sway in the music at the 0:14 mark. I kept watching the video over and over and over again. I was obsessed. I started to research on how I can learn more about the Argentine Tango.
When I started graduate school at Michigan, I also entered my puritanical/monkish phase. I still did not think there was anything wrong with dancing per se (though I didn't and still don't count making babies in the middle of the dance floor dancing) but I was hesitant about going to dance clubs or bars. So weekends were spent hanging out in large groups and on my own devouring theological books.
Then I discovered youtube one night. I discovered this first video from reading a dance review on New York Times about Gabriel Misse and Natalia Hills. The review can be found here. When I did a quick search, this is what I found.
I was mes-merized. I have never seen four legs move so beautifully together to music. Sure, there are some amazingly flashy moves (check out 1:57), but what fascinated me the most was how they were able to move together to music so beautifully, gracefully, and sensually. For example, check out how they interpreted the sway in the music at the 0:14 mark. I kept watching the video over and over and over again. I was obsessed. I started to research on how I can learn more about the Argentine Tango.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Dancing and Marital Love
Dancing provides a beautiful metaphor for our relationship with God and for what marriage could look like. I am going to use the discussion of dancing as a way to explain my vision of marital love.
There needs to be a leader and a follower, there is just no two ways about that. They are equal in dignity but different in roles. There cannot be two leaders, and there certainly cannot be two followers. A leader's job is not to dominate his follower, but to lead, invite, and guide her. And the follower is no wilting lily! A good follower is strong in her own feminine way and is a very active participant in shaping the dance and helping the man lead well.
The qualities in being a good leader are as follows: firm, gentle, confident, willingness and ability to listen to the follower, ability to hear and interpret the music, protecting the follower on the dance floor, helping his follower to feel and look beautiful, and willingness to grow and learn together with his partner. A good husband should also possess those qualities, with the additional quality of loving his wife. But let us not lose sight of the ultimate goal of dancing, which is to enjoy the gift of dancing with a beautiful partner to beautiful music. The hard work of making a marriage work is so we can fully enjoy the pleasure of the other person's company.
A leader's job is to lead firmly but gently. This does not mean manhandling the follower. To be a gentle leader requires confidence! He needs to have a solid frame but is not stiff, and he needs to know what he is going to do. It is hard to dance with a leader who has no frame (e.g. spaghetti arms) and who cannot decide if he is going to do a tuck turn or not. Likewise, a good husband is one that leads with confidence and joy. That confidence should be rooted in Jesus Christ and flows to the other parts of his life, such as his family life and his work.
To be a good leader requires active listening. He should be aware of where the follower is at in terms of her ability to dance, her overall comfort level with dancing, her mood and energy at that particular moment, and how she is responding to the lead. If the follower is not feeling very energetic at the moment, than a good leader adjusts to that. If the follower is not following a particular move that the leader had intended, it is up to him to find a way to either communicate the dance move in a different way or to transition to a different move. Likewise, a good husband needs to listen actively to his wife and to understand where she is at in a particular moment and discern how to best provide for her needs.
A good leader keeps time, dances to the music, and interprets the music. It is wonderful to dance to great music, but not so wonderful to dance off beat. Dancing is not just about learning lots of moves. While it is fun to do different spins and turns, they are only fun if they are done to the rhythm of the music. There is no stranger sensation than to dance a bunch of moves independent of the music. A good leader knows the importance and the simple joy of doing the basic steps well, and knows when to incorporate the turns and spins as the music moves them. A good leader can interpret the music well and is able to lead the follower through the crests and valleys of the music. There is a kind of melody and rhythm in our daily life as well. The composer of that music is God. A good husband is one that listens to the music attentively with the help of his wife.
A good leader protects the follower on the dance floor. He is mindful of where they are with respect to the overall dance floor and to the other couples. He knows how to navigate the floor and how to protect he and his follower's own dance space. A good husband knows how to protect his wife in the larger social context of life outside of the home, and how to protect the home so that it is a safe and nurturing environment for his wife and their children.
There needs to be a leader and a follower, there is just no two ways about that. They are equal in dignity but different in roles. There cannot be two leaders, and there certainly cannot be two followers. A leader's job is not to dominate his follower, but to lead, invite, and guide her. And the follower is no wilting lily! A good follower is strong in her own feminine way and is a very active participant in shaping the dance and helping the man lead well.
The qualities in being a good leader are as follows: firm, gentle, confident, willingness and ability to listen to the follower, ability to hear and interpret the music, protecting the follower on the dance floor, helping his follower to feel and look beautiful, and willingness to grow and learn together with his partner. A good husband should also possess those qualities, with the additional quality of loving his wife. But let us not lose sight of the ultimate goal of dancing, which is to enjoy the gift of dancing with a beautiful partner to beautiful music. The hard work of making a marriage work is so we can fully enjoy the pleasure of the other person's company.
A leader's job is to lead firmly but gently. This does not mean manhandling the follower. To be a gentle leader requires confidence! He needs to have a solid frame but is not stiff, and he needs to know what he is going to do. It is hard to dance with a leader who has no frame (e.g. spaghetti arms) and who cannot decide if he is going to do a tuck turn or not. Likewise, a good husband is one that leads with confidence and joy. That confidence should be rooted in Jesus Christ and flows to the other parts of his life, such as his family life and his work.
To be a good leader requires active listening. He should be aware of where the follower is at in terms of her ability to dance, her overall comfort level with dancing, her mood and energy at that particular moment, and how she is responding to the lead. If the follower is not feeling very energetic at the moment, than a good leader adjusts to that. If the follower is not following a particular move that the leader had intended, it is up to him to find a way to either communicate the dance move in a different way or to transition to a different move. Likewise, a good husband needs to listen actively to his wife and to understand where she is at in a particular moment and discern how to best provide for her needs.
A good leader keeps time, dances to the music, and interprets the music. It is wonderful to dance to great music, but not so wonderful to dance off beat. Dancing is not just about learning lots of moves. While it is fun to do different spins and turns, they are only fun if they are done to the rhythm of the music. There is no stranger sensation than to dance a bunch of moves independent of the music. A good leader knows the importance and the simple joy of doing the basic steps well, and knows when to incorporate the turns and spins as the music moves them. A good leader can interpret the music well and is able to lead the follower through the crests and valleys of the music. There is a kind of melody and rhythm in our daily life as well. The composer of that music is God. A good husband is one that listens to the music attentively with the help of his wife.
A good leader protects the follower on the dance floor. He is mindful of where they are with respect to the overall dance floor and to the other couples. He knows how to navigate the floor and how to protect he and his follower's own dance space. A good husband knows how to protect his wife in the larger social context of life outside of the home, and how to protect the home so that it is a safe and nurturing environment for his wife and their children.
A good leader understands that his job is to build up the follower to help her know and experience her beauty. This is not done in an ostentatious way, but in an authentic way. A good leader is in a way a hidden leader. There are moments in which he does shine, but she is the one that is doing the extensions and the turns and the spins. He is not a prop just hanging along for the ride. He provides the outer foundation of the dance and build up and direct the energy that is being generated by him and his follower. St. Joseph and Mother Mary's relationship is a good example of this. St. Joseph is a strong man, but he is also hidden and mysterious in the scriptures.
A good leader has the humility to know that there are always more ways to grow as a dancer, for both him and the woman. He will seek out other experienced couples and to learn from them. To that end, a husband should be the leader in seeking help from wise outside counsel, such as other married couples.
Ultimately, all those skills are to lead the couple into the joy of dancing together to the heavenly music composed by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Addendum
-----------------
I wrote the essay on dancing and marital love about two years ago while I was still single. I still stand by many of the observations, but if I were to re-write the essay today, my tone would be a little different. I would put less emphasis on what the leader needs to do, and more emphasis on what the leaders can experience. In the first approach, it feels like being a leader is just a whole lot of work. Who wants (just) that?
A good leader has the humility to know that there are always more ways to grow as a dancer, for both him and the woman. He will seek out other experienced couples and to learn from them. To that end, a husband should be the leader in seeking help from wise outside counsel, such as other married couples.
Ultimately, all those skills are to lead the couple into the joy of dancing together to the heavenly music composed by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Addendum
-----------------
I wrote the essay on dancing and marital love about two years ago while I was still single. I still stand by many of the observations, but if I were to re-write the essay today, my tone would be a little different. I would put less emphasis on what the leader needs to do, and more emphasis on what the leaders can experience. In the first approach, it feels like being a leader is just a whole lot of work. Who wants (just) that?
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