One thing that I love about dancing is how readily the physical translates to the psychological and the spiritual. One such concept that I have been contemplating about recently is the difference between rigidity and integrity.
As I have mentioned else where, a key part to partner dancing is maintaining your own frame, and to have your partner maintain her frame. This is true in ballroom, swing, tango, and salsa dancing. Since most people don't have a very good frame in day to day life, when they hear that they are suppose to have a good frame, they just tense up and become rigid. This is especially true for men. The command brings out the incredible hulk in us. And rigidity does not help. It is like dancing with Frankenstein. It is like dancing with a refrigerator. And more often than not, the rigid person ends up yanking and jerking the other person around. A common injury for beginner followers is rotator cuff injury. A good teacher teaches defensive maneuvering skills for the women early on.
One thing that frustrates me to no end in my walk with God is when Christians (myself included!) confuse rigidity for integrity. Do this. Do that. And ironically, the worst offenders are christians who are so focus on the importance of grace that they forget how incongruent their delivery is compare to their message. A challenge for christians is not in how to talk or teach about grace, but to let grace embodies us and flows through and out of us. Otherwise, it is no surprise that people want to take a few steps back when well meaning but rigid christians invite them to the dance of God.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Body Language
We sit, and we sit some more. At work. At home. On the way to work. On the way home. On the way to wherever we go. We sit. And we sit some more. Our body has so many joints, yet we move them so rarely and in such limited ways.
One of the reasons that I love to dance is it helps me to get in touch with a part of me that is hidden and under-developed. Our body speaks a language. Different languages convey different cultural perspectives and historical experiences. And two different speakers of the same language will have their own idiosyncrasies in how they express themselves. Similarly, our body "speaks" a truth that cannot be captured in quite the same way with words, and each of us can express ourselves differently through our bodies.
Here is a fun little exercise. You may want to do this when you are in a private space so that you are not worrying about other people's opinions and judgements. Below is the music video of "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. The first time, just sit and listen to the music for a minute, like you were at home or in your car. The second time, get on your feet but keep them stationary and only move you hip and your torso. The third time, stay standing in place but incorporate your arms and if you are brave, incorporate your hands as well. The fourth time, gently push yourself to walk, jaunt, or leap across the room to the music.
Here is a fun little exercise. You may want to do this when you are in a private space so that you are not worrying about other people's opinions and judgements. Below is the music video of "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. The first time, just sit and listen to the music for a minute, like you were at home or in your car. The second time, get on your feet but keep them stationary and only move you hip and your torso. The third time, stay standing in place but incorporate your arms and if you are brave, incorporate your hands as well. The fourth time, gently push yourself to walk, jaunt, or leap across the room to the music.
How did you feel? What did you do? As you incorporated more and more of your body, did you feel more or less at ease? What were your thoughts? Were you timid, excited, afraid, happy, angry, or sad?
Here is another video of a short choreography set to the same song.
This is another one of the dance videos that fascinated me before I actually took any dance classes. I thought the choreography was interesting, but what is extra cool about it is that towards the end (around the 1 minute mark), all the dancers free-styled.
I'll share more thoughts about body language in a later post. In the mean while, I would love to know how people experienced this exercise.
Here is another video of a short choreography set to the same song.
This is another one of the dance videos that fascinated me before I actually took any dance classes. I thought the choreography was interesting, but what is extra cool about it is that towards the end (around the 1 minute mark), all the dancers free-styled.
I'll share more thoughts about body language in a later post. In the mean while, I would love to know how people experienced this exercise.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Better Together
I am so thankful that after 37 years of living, I am married to a beautiful woman, who is intelligent, thoughtful, and loves God. I am thankful for the family and friends from close and afar that came and celebrated the occasion with us.
It is funny how God dances with us and leads us. If someone asked me ten years or five years ago, I would never imagine that I would get married in an Episcopal Church. Ten years ago, I would have been certain that I would be married in a Pentecostal or Evangelical Church. Five years ago, I would have been certain that I would be married in a Catholic Church. But there I was, taking the most important vow in my life in the most beautiful church that I have ever seen. Here is a picture that was snapped by a friend, and I can not wait to see what the wedding photographer was able to capture with her high power camera.
In a way, I wished I had made fewer unhelpful turns in romantic relationships earlier in my life, especially for obstacles that were rooted in human nature that I would overly-spiritualized. A good example of this is that I was shy and found it hard to connect with women that I was attracted to. But instead of realizing that I should grow psychologically and figure out why I had a hard time getting to know other women, I would just say to myself that God does not want me to meet women. This is a pretty messed up way to live life. And this is a pretty messed up way to be in relationship with people and with God. It is pinning things on God that God never had an opinion on. Unfortunately, I see this over-spiritualization so often in other areas of my life and in the lives of well meaning Christians.
Another way that gets at this idea is from the thoughtful and meaty sermon preached by the priest at the wedding.
"The culture tells us incessantly that the only way one can find fulfillment and the only way one can be truly happy is by being selfish. You become your true self only when you make sure that you get your own needs met. Yet in a life that is selfish one doesn’t become one’s true self. One doesn’t become happy. One simply becomes alone."
There are so many things left to say about the wedding and about marriage as an institution ordained by God, but perhaps it is wise to end this blog with these two quotes.
From the last verse in the Gospel of John, we read, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole word would not have room for the books that would be written".
And from Jack Johnson's song Better Together:
"But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together."
 |
| Greeting guests after the wedding ceremony. |
It is funny how God dances with us and leads us. If someone asked me ten years or five years ago, I would never imagine that I would get married in an Episcopal Church. Ten years ago, I would have been certain that I would be married in a Pentecostal or Evangelical Church. Five years ago, I would have been certain that I would be married in a Catholic Church. But there I was, taking the most important vow in my life in the most beautiful church that I have ever seen. Here is a picture that was snapped by a friend, and I can not wait to see what the wedding photographer was able to capture with her high power camera.
 |
| I do. I do! |
In a way, I wished I had made fewer unhelpful turns in romantic relationships earlier in my life, especially for obstacles that were rooted in human nature that I would overly-spiritualized. A good example of this is that I was shy and found it hard to connect with women that I was attracted to. But instead of realizing that I should grow psychologically and figure out why I had a hard time getting to know other women, I would just say to myself that God does not want me to meet women. This is a pretty messed up way to live life. And this is a pretty messed up way to be in relationship with people and with God. It is pinning things on God that God never had an opinion on. Unfortunately, I see this over-spiritualization so often in other areas of my life and in the lives of well meaning Christians.
There are a hundred decisions that need to be made in preparation for a wedding, which can feel like a thousand decisions on the days prior to the wedding. Given my love of dancing, I gave a lot of thought about which song I will play for the first dance and which song I will play for the last dance. At first, I wanted to sandwich the dancing with Jack Johnson songs, with "Better Together" as the first dance and "Upside Down" from the soundtrack of Curious George as the last dance. I ended up going with other songs for those dances, but a closer listening of "Better Together" gave me a better appreciation of the song and why it makes sense to make a life long commitment to another person. Life is better together with another person.
Another way that gets at this idea is from the thoughtful and meaty sermon preached by the priest at the wedding.
"The culture tells us incessantly that the only way one can find fulfillment and the only way one can be truly happy is by being selfish. You become your true self only when you make sure that you get your own needs met. Yet in a life that is selfish one doesn’t become one’s true self. One doesn’t become happy. One simply becomes alone."
There are so many things left to say about the wedding and about marriage as an institution ordained by God, but perhaps it is wise to end this blog with these two quotes.
From the last verse in the Gospel of John, we read, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole word would not have room for the books that would be written".
And from Jack Johnson's song Better Together:
"But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together."
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